In the midst of life and all it brings, we pull our hair back to get things done without it obscuring our sight or becoming entangled. Though it gets in our way, we keep it. It's an interesting commitment.

Yesterday we buried my grandfather and remembered him in the company of friends and family. I wish I'd shared the few words that came to me then, but I did not, or could not, I'm not certain which. But I will speak them here.

Father, Grandfather, Great Grandpa
a different man for each of us
and wholly himself, never more,
never less, just who he decided to be
and who he was.

We stand at the edge of his body's grave
and celebrate his soul's home going,
each of us one generation closer to our own.

Grandpa

My maternal grandfather passed away last week and his family is gathering in Darke County, Ohio, to remember him. His obituary is below, but this is how I remember him.

Carl E. Carey, 98, of Bradford, Ohio died January 23, 2011 at Wayne Health Care. He resided at Brethren Retirement Community his last two years. Carl was born in the Pleasant Hill (Miami County) area on August 28, 1912, the son of the (late) John and Clara (Cissner) Carey. His childhood years were near Hardin in Shelby County. He was a former member of Pleasant Valley Church of the Brethren at Union City, Ohio and a current member of Oakland Church of the Brethren, Bradford, and Tipp City Church of Christ, Tipp City. Carl was a farmer his entire life: in Miami County, 1937-1949, and Darke County 1949-1977. Upon their retirement Carl and Bessie spent their winters primarily in Yuma, Arizona and their summers in their home outside of New Harrison. Carl took great pride in his garden and the produce they preserved. He was preceded in death by his wife, Bessie (Karnehm) Carey, who died September 11, 1995; eight brothers, Vernon Carey, Earl Carey, Gene Carey, all of Sidney, Benjamin Carey, an infant, Judd Carey of DeGraff, Ohio, George Carey of Troy, Clyde Carey of Bradford, Russell Carey of Hardin; and one sister Faye Pence, of Rock Island, Texas. Carl is survived by two daughters, Maxine (Merlin) Miller of Bradford and Rachel (Curtis) Eikenberry of Flora, Indiana; one son, Marvin (Patricia) Carey of Sylvania, Ohio; 9 grandchildren; and 11 great-grandchildren. Graveside services Saturday at 10:00 a.m. at Harris Creek Cemetery with Memorial Service following at 11:00 a.m at Oakland Church of the Brethren with Pastor Pete Kontra and Chaplain Robert "Bob" Bitner officiating. In desired, contributions may be made to Oakland Church of the Brethren or Oakland Youth Group. Family will receive friends Friday 4-7 p.m. at Stocker-Fraley Funeral Home, Bradford.

What? I have a blog? You're kidding, aren't you?

The to-do list got so much shorter today. I can't even remember the last time that happened.

"...[W]hat we do is not what destroys us. Rather, our fate rests on how we describe what we do."                 Stanley Hauerwas, Hannah's Child

I began writing to record. I continue writing to remember and, hopefully, to reframe.

My first workday of 2011 began and ended with missing my bus and noticing the astoundingly thick frost sparkling in the light of the street lamps. It is likely the entire year will bring similar annoyances and delights. May I meet each one with equanimity.