Seasonal Dilemmas

Our first year in the neighborhood, we ran out of candy on Halloween. Can you believe it? The horror!

After careful tallying in subsequent years, we now know to expect about 30 trick-or-treaters clamoring up our walk and onto our porch, prancing around in their costumes, all high on sugar and asking for more. So, we buy Costco-sized bags of loot. I wasn’t sure if one would be enough this year, but I wasn’t willing to spend $26.00 on candy, either. Go ahead. Call me a cheapskate. I can take it.

But last Friday only 16 princesses, bees, fairies, pumpkins, ghouls, skeletons, and pirates braved the wet night and slippery sidewalks to be greeted at our door by a bowl of individually wrapped, fun-size bars—and an accompanying hiss from The Furrball. (Not that he was interested in the chocolate, because he wasn’t. He just wanted the interlopers off his porch.)

Only 16 trick-or-treaters. Polite ones at that. Not a single one of them grabbed a fistful from the bowl. Imagine! Consequently, we’re faced with the very dilemma confronting all parents of trick-or-treaters everywhere, and we don’t even have kids: What do we do with all this candy?

Hello. Is that a serious question? Of course we’ll be eating it, and faster than is good for us, too.